The world is messy, just as our lives are messy. The way we live, the way we love, the way we hurt and the way we act...all these things cause pain and frustration side by side with the joy and wonder they inspire. To modify an old adage...sometimes the world is gray, but more often it is black and white mixed all the way together into a chunky stew of morality. Right and wrong is not blended, but complexly interwoven.
So the dillema of living it right isn't borne from a difficultly making sense of what to do - that's clear more often than not, I think - but rather it's difficult figuring out how to deal with the consequences of our actions in a world where incentives, payoffs, emotions, loyalty, passion and about 100 other things are all tied together, their links are obfuscated and their effects cannot be analyzed. Living it right is hard because the world is messy. It's really hard.
And it's so easy to maintain the status quo. Things get really bad and really complicated. Conflict happens. Things get risky and people get hurt. You just want to quit and forget about the whole thing, sometimes. It can get to the point where it's just too messy to deal with and it can't be cleaned up. At those points, you think all you can do is push the proverbial "reset button".
But beautiful things come from the mess. Some of the best solutions, moments, loves, relationships and ideas come from messy circumstances and a lot of hard work. Beauty emerges from the nooks and crannies of chaos.
The process of making beauty from the mess is beautiful, in itself. It's worth it to stay at the table and talk things out. It's amazing to stick by someone you love. The simple sacrifice of "not walking away" is powerful, special and the slightest bit divine. It is love in one of it's simplest, purest and most potent forms.
We must have an untameable persistence for cleaning up the mess in our own lives and in the lives of others. It is one of the places where the best things in life reside. I'll always have hope for it. I'll always believe that it's virtuous and just, even when it's painful and impossibly difficult. I can't give up on it. I just can't.
4 comments:
reminds me of an avett brothers song with the line, "there's nothing like finding gold between the rocks hard and cold, I'm so surprised to find more - always surprised to find more." That's what makes life worth living. Keep optimistic and keep persistent, pic. :)
You wrote this at quite the apt moment, I have to say. The world is messy, indeed, and it really is something beautiful when one's persistence and optimism pays off in the face of unfavorable odds and chaotic circumstances. But is it always good to stay persistent? Even when the odds are ostensibly insurmountable? Even when your heart says "stay the course" but your head is begging you to take the easy road? When does one throw in the towel and move on? Is one person really worth all the struggling, the suffering? I know these questions are largely unanswerable, but they speak to something I've really been struggling with lately.
I'm always appreciative of your blog, but especially this post. And even though I'm posting this anonymously, I think you can figure out who I am - if you're ever in the Berkeley area, hit me up. And remember, nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Press on, friend.
Neil, I love this post. I believe the picture of hardship/failure followed by redemption is one of the most beautiful images in the world.
Personally, I believe persistence can only pay off if you have hope in the final goal. If one lacks direction, persistence may be in vain. This may help to answer your "how" - and you're correct. Living it right is hard.
Regardless, I hope the below quote will serve as an encouragement to you.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
I often find myself resisting the mess. The mess itself or the opportunity to "mess things up."
For me, it is a fear of failure, honesty, loss of control - or need for perfection - I can't quite figure it out. But, I've found that the only way to uncover truth, to feel vulnerable, to feel truly strong - is to mess things up. Love a little, live a little, explore a lot. And give of yourself.
As time goes on, I'm embracing messy a little more. And it seems like you are too, my friend.
In a quite literal sense, a room is never fully clean until you mess it all up, revealing all its contents...and possibilities. Then, finally, after examining each piece (often in the middle of the night), you put it back together....in a new, improved, and beautiful way.
Peace and love,
Melanie
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