The World is Messy

The world is messy, just as our lives are messy. The way we live, the way we love, the way we hurt and the way we act...all these things cause pain and frustration side by side with the joy and wonder they inspire. To modify an old adage...sometimes the world is gray, but more often it is black and white mixed all the way together into a chunky stew of morality. Right and wrong is not blended, but complexly interwoven.

So the dillema of living it right isn't borne from a difficultly making sense of what to do - that's clear more often than not, I think - but rather it's difficult figuring out how to deal with the consequences of our actions in a world where incentives, payoffs, emotions, loyalty, passion and about 100 other things are all tied together, their links are obfuscated and their effects cannot be analyzed. Living it right is hard because the world is messy. It's really hard.

And it's so easy to maintain the status quo. Things get really bad and really complicated. Conflict happens. Things get risky and people get hurt. You just want to quit and forget about the whole thing, sometimes. It can get to the point where it's just too messy to deal with and it can't be cleaned up. At those points, you think all you can do is push the proverbial "reset button".

But beautiful things come from the mess. Some of the best solutions, moments, loves, relationships and ideas come from messy circumstances and a lot of hard work. Beauty emerges from the nooks and crannies of chaos.

The process of making beauty from the mess is beautiful, in itself. It's worth it to stay at the table and talk things out. It's amazing to stick by someone you love. The simple sacrifice of "not walking away" is powerful, special and the slightest bit divine. It is love in one of it's simplest, purest and most potent forms.

We must have an untameable persistence for cleaning up the mess in our own lives and in the lives of others. It is one of the places where the best things in life reside. I'll always have hope for it. I'll always believe that it's virtuous and just, even when it's painful and impossibly difficult. I can't give up on it. I just can't.

"I'm done being nervous."

Segel said an interesting thing to me today: "I'm done being nervous". It was an epiphany.

Why be nervous - in the anxious, performancing-undermining way. It doesn't make sense. All it demonstrates is a lack of confidence and a lack of preparation. And, any man whould be both perpared and confident at at all times. There's no other way to live.

That doesn't mean to disregarind the stakes and impacts of actions. It does mean that irrational fears should be subsided. Once irrational fears are swept away, one can focus on the rational fears in his life and address those, which is tremendously more practical and helpful than trying to squelch irrational fears.

Now, the question becomes...how does one neutralize irrational fear? Like most things, I think it comes down to honesty. By being honest, one can see straight to the heart of an emotion or situation. And if you see straight to the heart of a problem you can fully understand the problem and it's no longer nerve-tingling...it is whatever it is...hard, easy, stressful, joyous, sexy or nominal. By being honest, one can remove the uncertainty of a situation, see something for what it really is and then address it head-on.

I want to try this...subsiding my irrational nervousness, by being more honest with myself...for better or worse. I think I could stand to live fearlessly more often than I do.

30 Day Challenge

I was checking out Coatney's Google Buzz feed and he was attempting a 30 day challenge. I'm on board...I just have to figure out something to do. Can you help me think of something to challenge myself with for 30 days?

Here are some things I'm thinking about picking from:

1. Read a poem every day for a month.
2. Take a picture every day for a month.
3. Medidate for 10 minutes every day for a month.
4. Watch 7 classic movies.
5. Run 75 miles
6. Try 12 cheeses and 4 wines