I really like the movie Akeelah and the Bee, for many reasons. A good script, a heart-warming story and some solid onscreen performances.
One of the lines in the movie, a Maryanne Williamson quote (not that I have any idea who Maryanne Williamson is), often has echoes in day to day life, too. Today, I was thinking about providence. Do we often allow ourselves to have providence? Do we open ourselves to providence? Moreover, do we even allow beauty to seep into our lives? Why wouldn't we want beautiful things to happen to us...why wouldn't we deserve them?
And I remember:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond imagination. It is our light more than our darkness which scares us. We ask ourselves – who are we to be brilliant, beautiful, talented, and fabulous. But honestly, who are you to not be so?
You are a child of God, small games do not work in this world. For those around us to feel peace, it is not example to make ourselves small. We were born to express the glory of god that lives in us. It is not in some of us, it is in all of us. While we allow our light to shine, we unconsciously give permission for others to do the same. When we liberate ourselves from our own fears, simply our presence may liberate others.
We are powerful beyond belief. Certainly not all-powerful. But within each person lies the opportunity to be wicked or to have grace. But one man is the one who destroyed peoples and one man who freed them from chain.
Why do we turn away from beauty and providence? Why do we not think "it's the right time" for it, or that "we are not ready" for something beautiful to happen to us. Why are we afraid of the good that walks upon the earth?
But alas, not all is lost if we are not willing to accept and allow beauty to permeate us from head to toe. Men and women, if they are showered with enough love, will unlearn the human behaviors of shirking beauty. No, what would be tragic is if we forgot how or refused to create beautiful things. Because to forget how to make things beautiful or to forget how to make beautiful things would be to forget what it is to be human.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Sacrifice in 2010
This past year was rough, for Michigan and for the country, so several I've spoken are thankful that this year is [nearly] complete.
There was a lot of spilled milk this year and even more finger pointing. Lot's of analysis of who was right and wrong (see: bailout, healthcare, Iran, Afghanistan, DPS, Cobo Hall, MI Budget, CA Budget, etc...) and less of an emphasis on what went wrong or how we can move forward, effectively, smartly, and interdependently. The MO was to recognize a problem, try to figure out what wen't wrong, poll the American public, try to make statements to "win" an argument, and lobby any solutions conceived to be evaluated as "right" in the eyes of the public. The way I see it, the amount of emphasis on the "best solution" or accepting/moving past blame was exasperated at best.
Of course, I know that many people work hard towards finding solutions to societal problems, behind closed doors and in conference rooms full of really smart people. But the public image of those discussions and solutions is influential. Public image and public posturing shapes of the boundaries for what public policy solutions might become. For example, if someone holds belief A publicly, any public policy solutions have to reconcile with belief A. In that way, public posturing is important because it limits policy before it is even created.
I often wonder why such image-inspired, solution-conspired dialogue - or multi-person monologue - is so standard and repeated. I have a theory...that it comes down to sacrifice.
I do not for a moment believe that people are not willing to make sacrifice. Even downtrodden Michiganders, I think we would oblige in making a sacrifice as long it was clearly and honestly explained and the difficult of the sacrifice was proportional to the challenge it was meant to alleviate. In other words, when the truth is explained and a reqeust is made, I think people are willing to fulfill the request.
I do not for a moment believe that leaders have evaluated, explained, or requested that I make a sacrifce this year, even though I want to. I know that solving our nation's problems will require sacrifice, but I don't know what sacrifices to make.
Discussion of sacrifice is squelched because it is believed to be unpopular. Intuition would suggest that the public would be angry if a political or business leader asked the country to make any of the sacrifices I have or have not listed. But I don't think so, as long as the requests were honest.
So, tell me how to sacrifice.
Should I cut back on electric use? Should I minimize my reliance on prescription drugs? Should I spend 5 minutes of my day checking on my neighbors? Should I adopt a puppy? Should I carpool to work? Should I enlist in the miitary? Should I pay more taxes?
Some might say, it would be good to do all these things and more. But, that's not helpful. I - and I presume others too - need help to focus and decide on what sacrifices they need to make...simply because the ways to make sacrifices are limitless.
I have ideas on how to sacrifice...if I was the one deciding which sacrifices to ask of the public...I'd probably mention some of the following:
-Use less resources (material resources, energy, food, etc.) to reduce individual carbon footprint. Businesses too.
-Forego luxury purchases to pay down debt.
-Talk to and care for people in your immediate social network.
-Be willing to pare down certain government services and increase taxes to fully fund programs and infrastructure initiatives that remain.
-Sharing.
The problem is, I'm not qualified to ask the public to make sacrifice...because I don't know enough to make really educated assertions about public sacrifice. But that doesn't disqualify me from intuiting that sacrifice is necessary. We just need you, designated leaders, to help focus around some key priorities.
[This could spur into a discussion about the "mission" of government at large, at a really strategic level, but I'll save that for another time...I'm really fired up about getting people to talk about government what is should focus on because I think it has too MUCH on it's plate while being under-resourced and as a result is mediocre at a lot of things]
Instead of this year being about taking and trying to advance the self and winning political arguments and getting ahead of everyone else, I want to make this year about public sacrifice...that is to say about making sacrifices for the public good. Not to compromise individual rights and privileges, but to invest in them so they can be preserved for the next century.
So friends, I ask you this. What sacrifices (for ourselves, our friends/family, our state, and nation) do we need to make in 2010?
There was a lot of spilled milk this year and even more finger pointing. Lot's of analysis of who was right and wrong (see: bailout, healthcare, Iran, Afghanistan, DPS, Cobo Hall, MI Budget, CA Budget, etc...) and less of an emphasis on what went wrong or how we can move forward, effectively, smartly, and interdependently. The MO was to recognize a problem, try to figure out what wen't wrong, poll the American public, try to make statements to "win" an argument, and lobby any solutions conceived to be evaluated as "right" in the eyes of the public. The way I see it, the amount of emphasis on the "best solution" or accepting/moving past blame was exasperated at best.
Of course, I know that many people work hard towards finding solutions to societal problems, behind closed doors and in conference rooms full of really smart people. But the public image of those discussions and solutions is influential. Public image and public posturing shapes of the boundaries for what public policy solutions might become. For example, if someone holds belief A publicly, any public policy solutions have to reconcile with belief A. In that way, public posturing is important because it limits policy before it is even created.
I often wonder why such image-inspired, solution-conspired dialogue - or multi-person monologue - is so standard and repeated. I have a theory...that it comes down to sacrifice.
I do not for a moment believe that people are not willing to make sacrifice. Even downtrodden Michiganders, I think we would oblige in making a sacrifice as long it was clearly and honestly explained and the difficult of the sacrifice was proportional to the challenge it was meant to alleviate. In other words, when the truth is explained and a reqeust is made, I think people are willing to fulfill the request.
I do not for a moment believe that leaders have evaluated, explained, or requested that I make a sacrifce this year, even though I want to. I know that solving our nation's problems will require sacrifice, but I don't know what sacrifices to make.
Discussion of sacrifice is squelched because it is believed to be unpopular. Intuition would suggest that the public would be angry if a political or business leader asked the country to make any of the sacrifices I have or have not listed. But I don't think so, as long as the requests were honest.
So, tell me how to sacrifice.
Should I cut back on electric use? Should I minimize my reliance on prescription drugs? Should I spend 5 minutes of my day checking on my neighbors? Should I adopt a puppy? Should I carpool to work? Should I enlist in the miitary? Should I pay more taxes?
Some might say, it would be good to do all these things and more. But, that's not helpful. I - and I presume others too - need help to focus and decide on what sacrifices they need to make...simply because the ways to make sacrifices are limitless.
I have ideas on how to sacrifice...if I was the one deciding which sacrifices to ask of the public...I'd probably mention some of the following:
-Use less resources (material resources, energy, food, etc.) to reduce individual carbon footprint. Businesses too.
-Forego luxury purchases to pay down debt.
-Talk to and care for people in your immediate social network.
-Be willing to pare down certain government services and increase taxes to fully fund programs and infrastructure initiatives that remain.
-Sharing.
The problem is, I'm not qualified to ask the public to make sacrifice...because I don't know enough to make really educated assertions about public sacrifice. But that doesn't disqualify me from intuiting that sacrifice is necessary. We just need you, designated leaders, to help focus around some key priorities.
[This could spur into a discussion about the "mission" of government at large, at a really strategic level, but I'll save that for another time...I'm really fired up about getting people to talk about government what is should focus on because I think it has too MUCH on it's plate while being under-resourced and as a result is mediocre at a lot of things]
Instead of this year being about taking and trying to advance the self and winning political arguments and getting ahead of everyone else, I want to make this year about public sacrifice...that is to say about making sacrifices for the public good. Not to compromise individual rights and privileges, but to invest in them so they can be preserved for the next century.
So friends, I ask you this. What sacrifices (for ourselves, our friends/family, our state, and nation) do we need to make in 2010?
Saturday, November 21, 2009
The Art of Racing in the Rain #2
There are things that happen in life, that are so close to destiny that I can hardly stand it. You see, I don't like to believe in destiny because it makes me feel like my life is not my responsibility. But maybe it's the opposite, maybe those things--destined things--happening and weaving them together is just as much of a responsibility as a life without destiny.
But this is not of my concern at the moment. Enzo is.
Enzo is the narrator of this book I'm reading, The Art of Racing in the Rain. And, this book, may be part of my destiny. Because it's teaching me things I need to learn, right now. First lesson - life is not about life, life is about making things beautiful and making beautiful things.
Lesson two: here's the context.
I work in consulting. More specifically, I work for a firm that executes and implements projects, not just creates strategies. The firm I work for puts rubber to the road. Because of this, I've started to become inculcated in the doctrine of executable strategies.
I shouldn't do this...well, I should, but not exactly.
See, the problem is, when executing there is time, money and effort that is spent. All of these things are limited, as is the capability of the people executing. So, there comes a time when someone executing on a project must say, "We need to get this done".
And that makes sense, because the world is not built by dreamers, but by doers. The problem is, beautiful things are built by dreamers.
I'm making a promise to myself, right now, that I won't become a doer at the cost of relinquishing "the dreamer" in me. It can't do it. I will not give up what is right, responsible, or ideal for sake of "getting things done". I just won't do it because I don't want to live in a world, I want to live in a beautiful world.
Now, I know that there are many battles between convenience and virtue, and not all of them are worth fighting. I acknowledge this. I make this promise to not give up on the big battles. And, I'll try my darnedest to take care of the small ones too.
You might think this is silly. Resources are limited. Time, money, effort, and expertise are limited. To this, I offer no argument. But I do think that view is narrow minded.
Imagination is an unlimited, renewable, resource. If we have this, there is no reason to think we cannot execute while still preserving principle and doing what's right.
But this is not of my concern at the moment. Enzo is.
Enzo is the narrator of this book I'm reading, The Art of Racing in the Rain. And, this book, may be part of my destiny. Because it's teaching me things I need to learn, right now. First lesson - life is not about life, life is about making things beautiful and making beautiful things.
Lesson two: here's the context.
I work in consulting. More specifically, I work for a firm that executes and implements projects, not just creates strategies. The firm I work for puts rubber to the road. Because of this, I've started to become inculcated in the doctrine of executable strategies.
I shouldn't do this...well, I should, but not exactly.
See, the problem is, when executing there is time, money and effort that is spent. All of these things are limited, as is the capability of the people executing. So, there comes a time when someone executing on a project must say, "We need to get this done".
And that makes sense, because the world is not built by dreamers, but by doers. The problem is, beautiful things are built by dreamers.
I'm making a promise to myself, right now, that I won't become a doer at the cost of relinquishing "the dreamer" in me. It can't do it. I will not give up what is right, responsible, or ideal for sake of "getting things done". I just won't do it because I don't want to live in a world, I want to live in a beautiful world.
Now, I know that there are many battles between convenience and virtue, and not all of them are worth fighting. I acknowledge this. I make this promise to not give up on the big battles. And, I'll try my darnedest to take care of the small ones too.
You might think this is silly. Resources are limited. Time, money, effort, and expertise are limited. To this, I offer no argument. But I do think that view is narrow minded.
Imagination is an unlimited, renewable, resource. If we have this, there is no reason to think we cannot execute while still preserving principle and doing what's right.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Making beautiful things and making things beautiful
There are times where meaning and truth come out of opacity, to translucency and into clarity. By which I mean, therea re times wehre things just make a helluva lot of sense. now is one of those times.
I can't precisely say where this came from, but it did. I was reading "The Art of Racing in the Rain" which is a wonderful story, I might add (I'm halfway through). And I started thinking - I'm the luckiest guy I know. I love life, even when it's hard.
My life is not average, my life is easy. I have great friends, great parents and family, food on the table, blankets on my bed and I get to spend my time doing things I enjoy. Our country is not war torn, nor is my neighborhood. I deserve very little, if any, of it. But self-deprecation is not what I'm trying to accomplish here.
In this vein, I often think about words to describe life. One word tends to be one I keep coming back to - beautiful. Life is beautiful. The things that happen in life are beautiful as is life itself. Take a second, realize how many unlikely circumstances in the universe have had to happen for you have taken a breath...it's amazing.
Again, in this vein, I often think about what the point of life might be. For the longest time, I thought it was simply to live. To be. To have life. But reveling in living and being appreciative of life itself, I ruminated this evening, isn't the point. Because the beauty of life is only partly an intrinsic quality. In addition to things having inherent beauty, I think it also takes something else. Intent.
So, I think life isn't just about living - that's almost lazy and necessary but not sufficient. I think the point is to both make beautiful things or make things beautiful. Essentially it is to provide goods and services, except the end goal is not a profit, it is attaining beauty. I think it's that simple.
I can't precisely say where this came from, but it did. I was reading "The Art of Racing in the Rain" which is a wonderful story, I might add (I'm halfway through). And I started thinking - I'm the luckiest guy I know. I love life, even when it's hard.
My life is not average, my life is easy. I have great friends, great parents and family, food on the table, blankets on my bed and I get to spend my time doing things I enjoy. Our country is not war torn, nor is my neighborhood. I deserve very little, if any, of it. But self-deprecation is not what I'm trying to accomplish here.
In this vein, I often think about words to describe life. One word tends to be one I keep coming back to - beautiful. Life is beautiful. The things that happen in life are beautiful as is life itself. Take a second, realize how many unlikely circumstances in the universe have had to happen for you have taken a breath...it's amazing.
Again, in this vein, I often think about what the point of life might be. For the longest time, I thought it was simply to live. To be. To have life. But reveling in living and being appreciative of life itself, I ruminated this evening, isn't the point. Because the beauty of life is only partly an intrinsic quality. In addition to things having inherent beauty, I think it also takes something else. Intent.
So, I think life isn't just about living - that's almost lazy and necessary but not sufficient. I think the point is to both make beautiful things or make things beautiful. Essentially it is to provide goods and services, except the end goal is not a profit, it is attaining beauty. I think it's that simple.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Second Thoughts on Draft #1
So, the last post -- piss poor quality of writing aside -- just struck another thought. Let me explain.
"The Ways I Wait" wasn't about anyone in particular. Instead it was an emotion and reflection on the idea of someone or something. At the time, I thought it was a powerful feeling...something rooted in a deep stirring that causes thoughtful engagement in day-to-day life
Is it? Or is it "'emotional cowardice"? By emotional cowardice I mean something that's emotionally hollow and used as a shield to deflect real feelings and experiences with real people?
Think of it this way...if it's a genuine, powerful, feeling and idea -- the act of loving and being committed to the idea of someone that isn't explicitly identified -- maybe it causes the thinker to dive right into life. But if it isn't, maybe the idea is a self-defense mechanism that provides a rationalizing for not diving into life?
Ahh, hard to explain and I'm really hungry so I don't have the patience to sound it out.
But maybe this is a simpler model to explain the difference.
If idea presented in "The ways I wait" is something powerful and genuine: Think --> Imagine ideal state --> Try damndest to build ideal state
If idea presented in "The ways I wait" is on the order of emotional cowardice: Think --> Imagine ideal state --> Thought that "nothing lives up to the imagined ideal state" --> Rationalization of inaction
Looking at it this way, there seem to be two things that influence the outcome.
1. Imagination of the ideal state - You have to begin with the end in mind, here. It has to be an authentic conceptualization of the ideal state...something that works in the real world. Something simple...a criteria that can be evaluated against.
2. The first move after Imagining the ideal state. If you don't start to act, right at that moment...when would you?
Simply put...you have to really clearly know what you want...then go after it like a madman. Sounds a lot like any task.
"The Ways I Wait" wasn't about anyone in particular. Instead it was an emotion and reflection on the idea of someone or something. At the time, I thought it was a powerful feeling...something rooted in a deep stirring that causes thoughtful engagement in day-to-day life
Is it? Or is it "'emotional cowardice"? By emotional cowardice I mean something that's emotionally hollow and used as a shield to deflect real feelings and experiences with real people?
Think of it this way...if it's a genuine, powerful, feeling and idea -- the act of loving and being committed to the idea of someone that isn't explicitly identified -- maybe it causes the thinker to dive right into life. But if it isn't, maybe the idea is a self-defense mechanism that provides a rationalizing for not diving into life?
Ahh, hard to explain and I'm really hungry so I don't have the patience to sound it out.
But maybe this is a simpler model to explain the difference.
If idea presented in "The ways I wait" is something powerful and genuine: Think --> Imagine ideal state --> Try damndest to build ideal state
If idea presented in "The ways I wait" is on the order of emotional cowardice: Think --> Imagine ideal state --> Thought that "nothing lives up to the imagined ideal state" --> Rationalization of inaction
Looking at it this way, there seem to be two things that influence the outcome.
1. Imagination of the ideal state - You have to begin with the end in mind, here. It has to be an authentic conceptualization of the ideal state...something that works in the real world. Something simple...a criteria that can be evaluated against.
2. The first move after Imagining the ideal state. If you don't start to act, right at that moment...when would you?
Simply put...you have to really clearly know what you want...then go after it like a madman. Sounds a lot like any task.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Draft #1
A return to spoken word (at least a legitimate attempt, finally. This is a draft of course...I just won't be able to read my notebook handwriting if I don't strike now!)
The Ways I Wait - Draft #1
I think I'll know you in a flurry.
In a sunlight-broaching-past-you-standing-in-the-doorway-of-a-hardwood-floored-urban-apartment sort of way. With a peaceful, heart-throbbing fury.
Divine, honest, and true.
But until then darling, these are the ways I wait for you:
By gleefully squeezing where the back of your hand and the base of your digits would be,
when a song comes on that we'll listen to someday.Your hands are aged but soft, I already know.
By looking across dinner for one, imagining glances of you avoiding your tomatoes reminding me that "honey, salt isn't good for you". Attracting your TLC with the shaker is half the reason I have a "salty" tooth.
Or by smelling and putting my fingers through your hair, as if you're already there. And saving saving square-footage of comforter and fluffing your pillow to practice for our nightly routine.
And dream about you.
And dream about you.
Sometime. One time. I do.
But until then darling, these are the ways I wait for you.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Random
1. So, today was a more banal, jaw-clenching day than usual.
1a. However, things happen which make you remember why life is great...every time you wake up it presents an opportunity to be damn happy or to make someone else damn happy.
2. My life is easy. Rather, it's hard in the easiest ways. And that's okay, for now.
3. Watching how people act under duress is revealing. So is watching them in their most relaxed state.
4. Ain't nuttin like a good PB&J Sandwich.
1a. However, things happen which make you remember why life is great...every time you wake up it presents an opportunity to be damn happy or to make someone else damn happy.
2. My life is easy. Rather, it's hard in the easiest ways. And that's okay, for now.
3. Watching how people act under duress is revealing. So is watching them in their most relaxed state.
4. Ain't nuttin like a good PB&J Sandwich.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Doing the little things big.
I used to think more about about big things and big moments. And by "think" I mean dream and romanticize about them. There's an allure to imagining yourself at the pinnacle of your element, doing what you always imagined. And it's healthy, because by visioning yourself performing at the highest level and immersing yourself in the thought of your greatest moment is one step required to get to that point in time.
I want to know that something I did mattered, or that I was able to accomplish something big in my life. I yearn to make an impact--just like millions of others, especially other arrogant, optimistic, passionate, young, educated people I've met or know intimately.
And yet, I'm not so sure that those moments really matter, at least not in the way I had originally imagined them.
I always thought of those moments, the "big" ones, as the times where the world changed. Like the falling of the Berlin Wall, the Apollo moon landing, 11 September 2009, or any monumental political moment (e.g., elections, major legislative victories, or Supreme Court decisions)--I thought these events were the time that defined our world and our lives within them.
But, I think I was wrong. These events are not the moments where the world changed, they are the moments that signify that the world has already changed. They are not the transformative moments they are the occurences which signal that the cat's already out of the bag. When those "big" moments happen, it shows that there's no going back to yesterday's world order.
The same goes with our lives individually or on a smaller scale. Life is changed--won and lost--with all the seemingly little moments in between the noise-making, siren-howing, bookend events. The little things--that happen in the trenches--are where the magic happens.
I have a hard time articulating this paradigm that I'm feeling--I guess what I mean is that even that the "big" moments are fun to fantasize about, the seemingly "little" moments are what deserve the majority of our effort and attention. Little opportunities happen all the time and those opportunities are important to chase after and build upon, because through those moments--little ones accumulating--that's where happiness and success lie and that's where the world's problems get solved.
The little things aren't "dues to pay" to make big things happen. Doing the little things big is what's really powerful. May that's what I mean.
Ahh, I can't really get this idea out of my head in a way that's really compelling.
I want to know that something I did mattered, or that I was able to accomplish something big in my life. I yearn to make an impact--just like millions of others, especially other arrogant, optimistic, passionate, young, educated people I've met or know intimately.
And yet, I'm not so sure that those moments really matter, at least not in the way I had originally imagined them.
I always thought of those moments, the "big" ones, as the times where the world changed. Like the falling of the Berlin Wall, the Apollo moon landing, 11 September 2009, or any monumental political moment (e.g., elections, major legislative victories, or Supreme Court decisions)--I thought these events were the time that defined our world and our lives within them.
But, I think I was wrong. These events are not the moments where the world changed, they are the moments that signify that the world has already changed. They are not the transformative moments they are the occurences which signal that the cat's already out of the bag. When those "big" moments happen, it shows that there's no going back to yesterday's world order.
The same goes with our lives individually or on a smaller scale. Life is changed--won and lost--with all the seemingly little moments in between the noise-making, siren-howing, bookend events. The little things--that happen in the trenches--are where the magic happens.
I have a hard time articulating this paradigm that I'm feeling--I guess what I mean is that even that the "big" moments are fun to fantasize about, the seemingly "little" moments are what deserve the majority of our effort and attention. Little opportunities happen all the time and those opportunities are important to chase after and build upon, because through those moments--little ones accumulating--that's where happiness and success lie and that's where the world's problems get solved.
The little things aren't "dues to pay" to make big things happen. Doing the little things big is what's really powerful. May that's what I mean.
Ahh, I can't really get this idea out of my head in a way that's really compelling.
Monday, October 05, 2009
Every Day is a Good Day
I don't think it's atypical, but I really enjoy and miss little things. Especially lately.
I miss things like playing FIFA or roommate quirks. I miss hugs and high fives and spontaneous laughter. I miss walking places and moments of total autonomy. I miss having coffee with others and having no expectations attached. Most of all, I miss spending time with close friends and family. If I had any idea how time was limited, maybe I would've realized how wonderful humdrum days really were. The best things happen on those days--they are the brick and mortar of day to day life. Memories...the really good ones are made then.
But, why? Why remember those silly things?
Maybe it's because those moments were most at ease. Maybe those are the times that it's possible to connect with an "inner center", with others or with broader truths in life. I don't know why I long for those moments so much...it's cliche that I do. But yet, I can't help but remember them, and savor them.
Maybe it's because idle time is so precious these days. Maybe it's because I have a long commute and am forced to sit by myself for 1.5 hours a day.
Either way, every day is a good day.
I miss things like playing FIFA or roommate quirks. I miss hugs and high fives and spontaneous laughter. I miss walking places and moments of total autonomy. I miss having coffee with others and having no expectations attached. Most of all, I miss spending time with close friends and family. If I had any idea how time was limited, maybe I would've realized how wonderful humdrum days really were. The best things happen on those days--they are the brick and mortar of day to day life. Memories...the really good ones are made then.
But, why? Why remember those silly things?
Maybe it's because those moments were most at ease. Maybe those are the times that it's possible to connect with an "inner center", with others or with broader truths in life. I don't know why I long for those moments so much...it's cliche that I do. But yet, I can't help but remember them, and savor them.
Maybe it's because idle time is so precious these days. Maybe it's because I have a long commute and am forced to sit by myself for 1.5 hours a day.
Either way, every day is a good day.
Sunday, October 04, 2009
Game
Today, was my first informal lesson in "game". Sure, I've had chats with buddies about game and some anecdotal accounts of technique. But a friend of mine really knows his stuff. And, he imparted some of his wisdom, findings and challenges to me.
Which is helpful. I don't have much "game", at the very least the "game" I do have isn't traditional or particularly effective for someone in their early to mid twenties. I was an eager student.
But, it's a shame that we need game--don't naively thing that we don't--in the first place. Why? Because its essential to get the attention of the person we're interested in. We need to meet people--men or women, depending on your preference--and that takes effort. Beyond that, we REALLY need game, though because everyone else is engaging in competitive behavior.
By competing eachother we accelerate the need to advance our own interests. If we do not engage in game, we will be consumed by others playing the game. If a guy doesn't "game" at a bar, someone else will try to sweep away a woman he's eyeing and comingling doesn't really happen spontaneously at bars. (Sometimes I think that people enjoy engaging in this semi-competitive behavior, but that's a different story). Basically, if you don't play the game...you're more of less out of luck.
It's not unacceptable, but it's essentially a selfish behavior, i think. To get the attention of someone else, you have to take and be a little bit selfish.
But, as I often come back to, selfish behavior doesn't have to rule our interactions if nobody is selfish. In other words, if nobody else is acting selfishly, you don't have to.
I think this applies to game as well. If people are just being honest and making intentions clearly, there would be no reason to "game". It'd probably be simpler and probably easier. I'd say the risk involved with "gaming" is just about as severe as the risk of just being honest, though honest migh tbe a little bit tougher to bear because if you blow it being honest, there's no other recourse or place to deposit blame.
So overall -
"Game is selfish"
It doesn't have to be because if nobody does it, then theres no reason for game.
So, why "game" when you can just be honest.
It gets complicated, I think, but I think the answer here is a simple one. Don't be selfish. If most people don't act so selfishly, our social intearactions would be much different.
Gosh, I shouldn't write when I'm exhausted.
Which is helpful. I don't have much "game", at the very least the "game" I do have isn't traditional or particularly effective for someone in their early to mid twenties. I was an eager student.
But, it's a shame that we need game--don't naively thing that we don't--in the first place. Why? Because its essential to get the attention of the person we're interested in. We need to meet people--men or women, depending on your preference--and that takes effort. Beyond that, we REALLY need game, though because everyone else is engaging in competitive behavior.
By competing eachother we accelerate the need to advance our own interests. If we do not engage in game, we will be consumed by others playing the game. If a guy doesn't "game" at a bar, someone else will try to sweep away a woman he's eyeing and comingling doesn't really happen spontaneously at bars. (Sometimes I think that people enjoy engaging in this semi-competitive behavior, but that's a different story). Basically, if you don't play the game...you're more of less out of luck.
It's not unacceptable, but it's essentially a selfish behavior, i think. To get the attention of someone else, you have to take and be a little bit selfish.
But, as I often come back to, selfish behavior doesn't have to rule our interactions if nobody is selfish. In other words, if nobody else is acting selfishly, you don't have to.
I think this applies to game as well. If people are just being honest and making intentions clearly, there would be no reason to "game". It'd probably be simpler and probably easier. I'd say the risk involved with "gaming" is just about as severe as the risk of just being honest, though honest migh tbe a little bit tougher to bear because if you blow it being honest, there's no other recourse or place to deposit blame.
So overall -
"Game is selfish"
It doesn't have to be because if nobody does it, then theres no reason for game.
So, why "game" when you can just be honest.
It gets complicated, I think, but I think the answer here is a simple one. Don't be selfish. If most people don't act so selfishly, our social intearactions would be much different.
Gosh, I shouldn't write when I'm exhausted.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)