Sunday, November 25, 2012

My Public Service Story

As some of y'all may know, I've been applying to graduate schools for matriculation next fall (but we'll see if I end up getting in and even going if I do). Getting to the point, some of the questions in the various applications have been extremely introspective (read: awesome to write). Seeing as how I've been trying to be more in "equilibrium" this year, I wanted to share some of these publicly.

They way I figure it, I'm really comfortable sharing what I think in public but find it rather uncomfortable to share what I'm feeling or sharing details about my life and experiences. The only time I ever really do share that sort of stuff (which I actually am quite happy to do in this case) is when someone asks me a question...much different than voluntarily sharing personal information. Since I've had to write these anyway, I wanted to proactively share a few of these...kind of as a way to push my own boundaries and connect with others.

Anyway, this is the first one I've completed. The prompt was to share about your commitment to public service, what you've accomplished, and what you intend to do. Thanks to Auren and Ling for the wonderful edits (it sure isn't perfect, but I think it's better...almost entirely due to their feedback).  Here it is.

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Bearing the loss of Nakul – one of my younger cousins who lived in India – when I was 14 years old was the event that inspired my commitment to family, community, and public service. He died within a matter of days after contracting Dengue Fever, and recollecting my relatives’ accounts of his illness still make me uneasy. They said his body cracked like fire in his final hours. Amidst his delusional fever, they added, his only request was to eat an apple – which they heartbreakingly couldn’t provide, given his condition.

While grieving Nakul’s death, I started to think obsessively about institutions and organizations. If the broader institutional constructs which shaped medicine – health policy, private sector investment in healthcare, etc. – were more robust, I thought, Nakul wouldn’t have died. More importantly, I started to realize that institutions, in general, have supreme influence over whether individuals and communities suffer or thrive. Nakul’s death catalyzed my thinking on an idea which is one of my closest held beliefs today – that institutions matter, a lot.

Moreover, I was quickly convinced that public and social sector institutions mattered more than others. Because they can affect entire societies, I thought, those institutions have the deepest and most direct influence over whether human suffering even exists. After coming to this conclusion, my heart committed itself to public service and I started exploring.

I started exploring institutions and public service, in earnest, during high school. During my senior year I hosted a voter registration drive at my school and rallied my peers to participate in school activities. In college, I interned in Washington D.C. three times and wrote mostly about public service topics as a columnist for the Michigan Daily, the student-run campus newspaper. I focused my undergraduate studies on understanding the relationship between sectors and my honors thesis explored Gen Y talent management in the Federal Government. Because of my overt passion for public service, some friends jokingly called me “Mr. DC.”

But toward the end of undergrad, I took a detour. I realized that private sector institutions also mattered greatly and that I needed to understand them to solve the problems I thought were most compelling – ones that require collective action across public, social, and private sector institutions. Starting my career as a consultant, though seemingly counterintuitive to a public service commitment, was a deliberate decision to understand business so that I could better effectuate social impact, across all sectors collaboratively, later in life.

Along the way, I fell in love with Detroit and decided that this is where I want to translate my passion for institutions and public service into action. I want to invest in Detroit, in concert with the other passionate people who are committed to its future. I’m doubling down on my hometown.

Because I care about and understand institutions, I intend to work at the systems level and create new models for solving cross-sector problems and for engaging citizens. Even now, I’m considering how to create social hack-a-thons which rapidly prototype solutions for cross-sector issues, or community forums that are inclusive of all citizens. In Detroit, addressing systemic concerns (like how to get better at the process of solving cross-sector problems) is often overlooked and I intend to do something about it.
  
I also believe that Detroit is a preview of what’s to come in communities across the country, because it’s the first city being rebuilt in a world with disruptive technology, rising individual power, and increasing performance pressure. For that reason I don’t see just see transforming Detroit as a regional matter, I consider it a blueprint for the next wave of community redevelopment which will occur across the country in coming decades. I intend to make a broader impact in the world, beyond Michigan, by solving gnarly problems here and helping others replicate and adopt our models elsewhere.

I believe that I am capable of doing the difficult work of rebuilding institutions because I’ve already started deeply understanding institutions and successfully working to improve them. For example, when serving clients as a consultant, I have successfully built programs which led business units to win the hearts and minds of employees impacted by major changes resulting from corporate transformations. As a Fellow at one of my firm’s innovation centers, I am studying the deep shifts affecting the business landscape and am building cutting-edge ideas to help organizations navigate those shifts. I will use what I’ve practiced to convene broad groups of community stakeholders to rebuild Detroit’s institutions, through entrepreneurial social initiatives informed by community needs.

Outside of my client service work, I have already developed entrepreneurial initiatives which attempt to solve cross-sector, institutional issues in Detroit. For example, I co-founded a pilot initiative within my firm to incubate skills-based volunteerism. We did this by pairing practitioners from across our office with leaders of regional not-for-profits and focusing those teams to scope and plan skills-based projects. As we build this incubator – we are currently in our second phase and have worked with 10 organizations to date – we are impacting not-for-profit organizations in the short-term by building their capacity to work with skills-based volunteers. More importantly, through our pilot we are refining a new model for tackling skills-based volunteerism which can eventually be leveraged elsewhere.

More than anything, I think I am capable of rebuilding Detroit’s institutions because of how much I care about this place. I love my neighbors and how they have a rare combination of toughness, humility, and compassion. I am proud of Detroit’s history and its impact on America and the world. I even long for the smell of the air in November, right before winter begins, when I travel away for work. My passion and conviction will continue to compel me to learn and do anything, as long as it’s ethical, to serve my community. I am committed to rebuilding Detroit’s institutions, even it takes my entire adult life. I’m fired up to finish what I’ve started and share what we learn with others across the country.

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Was it really a hard day?

With the exception of approximately four types of life events, I've felt the extremity of human emotion. I've had all but two of the highest of highs (marriage and childbirth) and lowest of lows (burying a child and imminent death). I've lived the most blessed of lives, and at the same time, I don't even remember anymore what not being heartbroken feels like. I've struggled (and still do) with the most pervasive of grief and guilt while also understanding the purest of joy.

I had a hard day today. A really hard one. And yet, I am persisting without seeming to flinch at what should probably be a wrenching  angst. I don't know what to make of it.

In some senses I think it means I've grown, that I've learned to handle difficult feelings and how to live life for the gift that it is. In other senses, I worry that I'm emotionally closed off and incapable of really feeling almost anything personally affective, strongly.

What do you do if you can't tell if your humanity is as real as it gets or if you're a monster?