1. So, today was a more banal, jaw-clenching day than usual.
1a. However, things happen which make you remember why life is great...every time you wake up it presents an opportunity to be damn happy or to make someone else damn happy.
2. My life is easy. Rather, it's hard in the easiest ways. And that's okay, for now.
3. Watching how people act under duress is revealing. So is watching them in their most relaxed state.
4. Ain't nuttin like a good PB&J Sandwich.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Doing the little things big.
I used to think more about about big things and big moments. And by "think" I mean dream and romanticize about them. There's an allure to imagining yourself at the pinnacle of your element, doing what you always imagined. And it's healthy, because by visioning yourself performing at the highest level and immersing yourself in the thought of your greatest moment is one step required to get to that point in time.
I want to know that something I did mattered, or that I was able to accomplish something big in my life. I yearn to make an impact--just like millions of others, especially other arrogant, optimistic, passionate, young, educated people I've met or know intimately.
And yet, I'm not so sure that those moments really matter, at least not in the way I had originally imagined them.
I always thought of those moments, the "big" ones, as the times where the world changed. Like the falling of the Berlin Wall, the Apollo moon landing, 11 September 2009, or any monumental political moment (e.g., elections, major legislative victories, or Supreme Court decisions)--I thought these events were the time that defined our world and our lives within them.
But, I think I was wrong. These events are not the moments where the world changed, they are the moments that signify that the world has already changed. They are not the transformative moments they are the occurences which signal that the cat's already out of the bag. When those "big" moments happen, it shows that there's no going back to yesterday's world order.
The same goes with our lives individually or on a smaller scale. Life is changed--won and lost--with all the seemingly little moments in between the noise-making, siren-howing, bookend events. The little things--that happen in the trenches--are where the magic happens.
I have a hard time articulating this paradigm that I'm feeling--I guess what I mean is that even that the "big" moments are fun to fantasize about, the seemingly "little" moments are what deserve the majority of our effort and attention. Little opportunities happen all the time and those opportunities are important to chase after and build upon, because through those moments--little ones accumulating--that's where happiness and success lie and that's where the world's problems get solved.
The little things aren't "dues to pay" to make big things happen. Doing the little things big is what's really powerful. May that's what I mean.
Ahh, I can't really get this idea out of my head in a way that's really compelling.
I want to know that something I did mattered, or that I was able to accomplish something big in my life. I yearn to make an impact--just like millions of others, especially other arrogant, optimistic, passionate, young, educated people I've met or know intimately.
And yet, I'm not so sure that those moments really matter, at least not in the way I had originally imagined them.
I always thought of those moments, the "big" ones, as the times where the world changed. Like the falling of the Berlin Wall, the Apollo moon landing, 11 September 2009, or any monumental political moment (e.g., elections, major legislative victories, or Supreme Court decisions)--I thought these events were the time that defined our world and our lives within them.
But, I think I was wrong. These events are not the moments where the world changed, they are the moments that signify that the world has already changed. They are not the transformative moments they are the occurences which signal that the cat's already out of the bag. When those "big" moments happen, it shows that there's no going back to yesterday's world order.
The same goes with our lives individually or on a smaller scale. Life is changed--won and lost--with all the seemingly little moments in between the noise-making, siren-howing, bookend events. The little things--that happen in the trenches--are where the magic happens.
I have a hard time articulating this paradigm that I'm feeling--I guess what I mean is that even that the "big" moments are fun to fantasize about, the seemingly "little" moments are what deserve the majority of our effort and attention. Little opportunities happen all the time and those opportunities are important to chase after and build upon, because through those moments--little ones accumulating--that's where happiness and success lie and that's where the world's problems get solved.
The little things aren't "dues to pay" to make big things happen. Doing the little things big is what's really powerful. May that's what I mean.
Ahh, I can't really get this idea out of my head in a way that's really compelling.
Monday, October 05, 2009
Every Day is a Good Day
I don't think it's atypical, but I really enjoy and miss little things. Especially lately.
I miss things like playing FIFA or roommate quirks. I miss hugs and high fives and spontaneous laughter. I miss walking places and moments of total autonomy. I miss having coffee with others and having no expectations attached. Most of all, I miss spending time with close friends and family. If I had any idea how time was limited, maybe I would've realized how wonderful humdrum days really were. The best things happen on those days--they are the brick and mortar of day to day life. Memories...the really good ones are made then.
But, why? Why remember those silly things?
Maybe it's because those moments were most at ease. Maybe those are the times that it's possible to connect with an "inner center", with others or with broader truths in life. I don't know why I long for those moments so much...it's cliche that I do. But yet, I can't help but remember them, and savor them.
Maybe it's because idle time is so precious these days. Maybe it's because I have a long commute and am forced to sit by myself for 1.5 hours a day.
Either way, every day is a good day.
I miss things like playing FIFA or roommate quirks. I miss hugs and high fives and spontaneous laughter. I miss walking places and moments of total autonomy. I miss having coffee with others and having no expectations attached. Most of all, I miss spending time with close friends and family. If I had any idea how time was limited, maybe I would've realized how wonderful humdrum days really were. The best things happen on those days--they are the brick and mortar of day to day life. Memories...the really good ones are made then.
But, why? Why remember those silly things?
Maybe it's because those moments were most at ease. Maybe those are the times that it's possible to connect with an "inner center", with others or with broader truths in life. I don't know why I long for those moments so much...it's cliche that I do. But yet, I can't help but remember them, and savor them.
Maybe it's because idle time is so precious these days. Maybe it's because I have a long commute and am forced to sit by myself for 1.5 hours a day.
Either way, every day is a good day.
Sunday, October 04, 2009
Game
Today, was my first informal lesson in "game". Sure, I've had chats with buddies about game and some anecdotal accounts of technique. But a friend of mine really knows his stuff. And, he imparted some of his wisdom, findings and challenges to me.
Which is helpful. I don't have much "game", at the very least the "game" I do have isn't traditional or particularly effective for someone in their early to mid twenties. I was an eager student.
But, it's a shame that we need game--don't naively thing that we don't--in the first place. Why? Because its essential to get the attention of the person we're interested in. We need to meet people--men or women, depending on your preference--and that takes effort. Beyond that, we REALLY need game, though because everyone else is engaging in competitive behavior.
By competing eachother we accelerate the need to advance our own interests. If we do not engage in game, we will be consumed by others playing the game. If a guy doesn't "game" at a bar, someone else will try to sweep away a woman he's eyeing and comingling doesn't really happen spontaneously at bars. (Sometimes I think that people enjoy engaging in this semi-competitive behavior, but that's a different story). Basically, if you don't play the game...you're more of less out of luck.
It's not unacceptable, but it's essentially a selfish behavior, i think. To get the attention of someone else, you have to take and be a little bit selfish.
But, as I often come back to, selfish behavior doesn't have to rule our interactions if nobody is selfish. In other words, if nobody else is acting selfishly, you don't have to.
I think this applies to game as well. If people are just being honest and making intentions clearly, there would be no reason to "game". It'd probably be simpler and probably easier. I'd say the risk involved with "gaming" is just about as severe as the risk of just being honest, though honest migh tbe a little bit tougher to bear because if you blow it being honest, there's no other recourse or place to deposit blame.
So overall -
"Game is selfish"
It doesn't have to be because if nobody does it, then theres no reason for game.
So, why "game" when you can just be honest.
It gets complicated, I think, but I think the answer here is a simple one. Don't be selfish. If most people don't act so selfishly, our social intearactions would be much different.
Gosh, I shouldn't write when I'm exhausted.
Which is helpful. I don't have much "game", at the very least the "game" I do have isn't traditional or particularly effective for someone in their early to mid twenties. I was an eager student.
But, it's a shame that we need game--don't naively thing that we don't--in the first place. Why? Because its essential to get the attention of the person we're interested in. We need to meet people--men or women, depending on your preference--and that takes effort. Beyond that, we REALLY need game, though because everyone else is engaging in competitive behavior.
By competing eachother we accelerate the need to advance our own interests. If we do not engage in game, we will be consumed by others playing the game. If a guy doesn't "game" at a bar, someone else will try to sweep away a woman he's eyeing and comingling doesn't really happen spontaneously at bars. (Sometimes I think that people enjoy engaging in this semi-competitive behavior, but that's a different story). Basically, if you don't play the game...you're more of less out of luck.
It's not unacceptable, but it's essentially a selfish behavior, i think. To get the attention of someone else, you have to take and be a little bit selfish.
But, as I often come back to, selfish behavior doesn't have to rule our interactions if nobody is selfish. In other words, if nobody else is acting selfishly, you don't have to.
I think this applies to game as well. If people are just being honest and making intentions clearly, there would be no reason to "game". It'd probably be simpler and probably easier. I'd say the risk involved with "gaming" is just about as severe as the risk of just being honest, though honest migh tbe a little bit tougher to bear because if you blow it being honest, there's no other recourse or place to deposit blame.
So overall -
"Game is selfish"
It doesn't have to be because if nobody does it, then theres no reason for game.
So, why "game" when you can just be honest.
It gets complicated, I think, but I think the answer here is a simple one. Don't be selfish. If most people don't act so selfishly, our social intearactions would be much different.
Gosh, I shouldn't write when I'm exhausted.
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